Stinking Shurikens
by SSJ2 PikaFlash
Summary: Sasuke and Neji are former members of the elite ANBU ZERO unit when they find out that the unit they are in are involved in corruption. Finally complete. Now I can work on 'My Schoolmate, The Shinobi! [AU, OOC, SasuSaku, NejiTen]
1. Pro: One Dead Business Man

Disclaimer: All characters, songs and scenes belong to their respective owners...

Here's what pre-readers have to say about the fanfic:

_"Am I missing something here?" - Pre-Reader A _

_"Can you give me the money you owe me for pre-reading this fanfic?" - Pre-Reader B _

_"The formatting is appalling, revolting and insulting." - Pre-Reader C _

_"Truly nothing more than shameless rip-offs." - Pre-Reader D _

_"Hardly worth the bytes it's taking up." - Pre-Reader E _

_"You insignificant mass of cheesy whale waste." - Pre-Reader A's Auto Insult Program _

_"Insert your comment here" - (insert fanfiction reader's name here) _

* * *

A man sits in his car facing downhill from his mansion as he looks through a few envelopes. One contained a computer disk, while the other envelopes contained photographs of something scandalous if it ever goes public. As the man finishes off his drink and smokes, he begins to lose consciousness with the lack of oxygen as the car was being filled with carbon monoxide through a hose connected to the exhaust pipe. The limp body slumps over and pushes down the handbrake, causing the car to move downhill, passing by a man was walking his dog, another dog trying to bite on a water sprinkler, and then passing by a group of people doing their morning exercises. The car continues to move downhill along the straight road right into Konoha shopping mall...

* * *

As the runaway car zipped past the different stores, no one noticed or cared about the car that had a dead driver inside. Meanwhile, at the center stage of the mall, there was a competition hosted by radio hosts Kitsune and Keitaro... 

"Welcome to **HINA FM's RADIO CAR** competition, where you could win a new Car!"

"Look out!" One of the audience members called out as the runaway car hits the stage, flinging the dead body into the air and lands right into the driver's seat of the new car, only to have the car on the move...

At that moment, Sasuke and Neji were having ramen at a ramen shop, only to see the car drive past them.

Sasuke and Neji ignored their meal and chased after the runaway car.

"Don't worry! We're with the **ANBU ZERO**!" Sasuke yelled out as he holds out his ID badge.

Suddenly, one of the cars wheels was popped, causing it to make a turn into a fountain. The car crashed into a fountain with water filling the car and the dead body's head on the steering wheel.

"He's one very cool customer," Sasuke said to Neji.

Both Sasuke and Neji took their kunais out of their holsters and slowly moved closer to the dead man and Sasuke yelled out, "One wrong move you're a dead man!" At that instant, the car's airbags popped out, followed by screams and flying kunais...

* * *

_PikaFlash's Fanfic Team Presents: _

**Stinking Shurikens **

**_Prologue:_**_ One Dead Business Man_

_A/N: This fanfic and **My SchoolMate, The Shinobi,** have no relationto each other even if I post them on the same day. **The Hokage Files** will go_ **on Hiatus** _until these fanfics are done._

* * *


	2. Repeat Offenders

**Stinking Shurikens **

Disclaimer: All characters, songs and scenes belong to their respective owners...

_Chapter 1: Repeat Offenders _

* * *

**ANBU ZERO HQ **

Iruka was reading the local newspaper, 'Konoha News' with the headlines, '**ANBU** stabs Dead Man 12 Times: Bizarre Suicide Aftermath'.

Iruka puts the paper down and looks at Sasuke and Neji. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Neji looks at the paper. "Well, it's being blown out of proportion."

Iruka reads out what was on the article, "_'The corpse of Asuma Sarutobi, a respected businessman, received multiple stabs from kunais in front of a crowd of horrified shoppers'_."

Neji objected. "See? What about taking out the word _'respected'_, leaving behind only businessman?"

"Then, we're left with _'corpse'_, _'kunais'_ and_ 'multiple stabs'_," Iruka said.

"And _'horrified shoppers'_," adds Sasuke.

Neji protested. "Look, the opinion polls said that 80 percent of the population will do the same thing if they were in our position."

Iruka stood up and walks past a photo of a blonde man shaking hands with a very evil looking man. "When Mayor Naruto started **ANBU ZERO**, the press gave it a year and nine years later, we're still here. Among our 200 plus Shinobis, only 18 kunais have been used."

"4 of those are yours, Neji?" Sasuke mumbled to Neji.

"And yesterday, 14 kunais were used, 12 straight into Asuma with two in your hands." Iruka said, "They want me to sack you..."

"But we're close to completing the Jiraiya case!" protested Sasuke.

"It's only until this thing blows over. We can't have you after the Jiraiya case if those papers are eyeing out for you."

"Of course, I mean, next week, some other businessman will die in a strange chain of freaky unexplainable flukes," Neji said, "and all this will be forgotten."

"Look, you're down to uniform duties until this blows over."

"Great," Sasuke mumbled to himself sarcastically, "out of the suits and back into the regular Jonin vests..."

"I'm on your side, Sasuke. If Orochimaru was here..."

"Yeah, yeah, if Orochimaru was here," Sasuke mumbled again.

"Remember the time when Kabuto threw out some very important evidence for a case, and Orochimaru got so pissed off that he forced Kabuto into a barrel and pushed him down 8 flights of stairs." Iruka explained.

Neji pointed at the stairs. "In there?" he asked.

"Yes."

"But why did he have a barrel in an 8-storey building?" Neji asked.

"I don't know," Iruka said then he opens a file, "Look, for now, both of you will be down to uniform duties."

* * *

Neji was driving a van along a street as Sasuke was at the passenger reading the 'Konoha News', as the headlines had the pictures of their faces. 

"I say that we look good on this newspaper article," Sasuke commented.

"Just like that show on TV," Neji said as he drove through into a street. "Hey, Sasuke, I got an idea, guess what this catchphrase is. _'Gotta catch 'em all'_!"

"What's that?" Sasuke asked.

"Just something I remembered when I was watching TV a few weeks ago," Neji explained, "Look it will blow over eventually!" At that instant, some kids were riding on bicycles next to the van throwing water balloons at Sasuke and Neji.

"Hey! Don't you know who we are!" Sasuke yelled out as he shows the newspaper at the kids, but they continued to throw water balloons at the van and its occupants. "We're under attack by hooligans throwing water balloons at our vehicle!" Neji yelled into a radio.

* * *

**Asuma's Residence **

Sasuke and Neji were rolling up the police line tape...

"Hey, Neji, can you keep a secret?"

"What is it?"

"Well, I just happen to find out that our _'respected'_ businessman had a..." Sasuke did a hand gesture, but Neji didn't understand. "Erm...what is the legal term for _'having an affair with someone else'_?"

Neji rolled up the tape. "I guess it would be called, _'Very Personal Business Matters involving something sexual'_ or in two words from my dictionary, _'over ambitious'_..."

Sasuke was silent and Neji suddenly had a gut feeling that someone was behind him. "Sasuke, there's someone behind me, right?" Sasuke nods. "Of all the worst possible..."

Sasuke walked to the woman. "Oh, Mrs. Sarutobi, I'm Sasuke Uchiha and this is Neji Hyu..." Kurenai cuts Sasuke off. "I know who you are. Come, I got something to show you."

* * *

Kurenai leads Sasuke and Neji to a computer and opens the history log. "I didn't tell the Jonins that came for questioning yesterday and I was hoping that you would pass this onto them." 

Sasuke takes out a cigarette. "Mind if I smoke, Mrs. Sarutobi?"

"Got a spare one?"

Sasuke gives Kurenai a cigarette and Sasuke lights both cigarettes.

"You see, some of my husband's files on this computer were removed," explained Kurenai.

"Couldn't he have deleted them?" Sasuke asked.

"No, I checked the history. It was 5 hours after the accident."

"Alright, can I use your phone, Mrs. S?"

Neji enters the room with a whole pile of police tape.

"Neji, could you get a printout of the history log?" Sasuke said as he accidentally taps his cigarette butt into the pile of police tape...

* * *

Sasuke was using Kurenai's phone. 

"That's right; I've got some new information about Asuma. Right, we'll bring it over."

Sasuke puts the phone down and turns to Kurenai. "Look, Mrs. S, I don't know how to apologize for what happened to your husband."

"It's alright, Sasuke." Kurenai smiled and said, "And please, call me Kurenai."

"If it's any consolation, we will get this guy. I promise." Sasuke opens the door, only to see Neji in a room surrounded by flames and the computer destroyed.

Neji looked at Sasuke. "I think we got a problem..."

* * *

Sasuke, Kurenai and Neji quickly ran out of the burning house...

* * *

**The next day, ANBU ZERO HQ **

Iruka was reading the paper, with the headlines, _'Repeat Offenders' _and a picture of the fire that destroyed the Sarutobi residence.

"There's a lot of nice words in this one. _'Moronic duo, terrifying inferno, same two Shinobis, irony lost on widow, f-ing idiots who must surely now be sacked!'_" Iruka puts the paper down. "In 5 hours, Orochimaru will be under the knife and no one has the guts to tell him about what's going on," Iruka said.

"Wait, what about the computer?" Sasuke asked.

"The same computer that was destroyed in the latest _'**ANBU ZERO**'s F-ked up unit's public relations fiasco'_?"

"But Asuma's wife, she could..."

"Sasuke, I don't want you near that woman again!" Iruka yelled out and walked to the door, letting Shino and Kiba enter the office.

"Shino and Kiba will take over the Jiraiya case. They will continue on from where you left off."

"Don't worry, we'll get this guy," said Kiba

Shino opens the file. "You've made quite a bit of progress here. We'll be happy to close this case."

"I bet you will!" said Sasuke.

"Stop it, Sasuke. He didn't burn down a house full of evidence," Iruka said.

Sasuke turns his head to Shino. "He wouldn't know where to start..."

There was silence, then Neji asked, "Mind if I get the barrel, Iruka?"

* * *

Sasuke and Neji walked out of the office. 

"I hate that Shino, 'We'll be happy to close this case.' I hate the way he said that. We were not at the back of a van for 10 months, just so that they would add in the final cross to the T."

Sasuke and Neji walked to the lift, Sasuke was beginning to lose his cool and Neji had to do something.

"Sasuke, calm down. Face it. We're off the case." At that moment, Sasuke continually hits the lift button. "That's good. Very good. You're doing well to calm down."

* * *

Sasuke and Neji were in the lift. 

"You know what pisses me off?" Sasuke said, "Iruka's speech yesterday, 'Nine years ago...yada, yada.' I've been here since day one and until last week, the f-k ups are few and far apart."

"I've been with the ANBU ZERO for 5 years," Neji said "And two years before that, I was just a regular Jonin. My first mission was that, I would go down to the TV station to be an officer in the background doing their job for ' Japan's Most Wanted'..."

* * *

**6 Years ago, Konoha's Most Wanted **

The host, Anko was at a desk with the background set as an office full of Jonins and Neji was in his Jonin uniform...

_Anko: The offender at the Ichiraku's Ramen robberies is on the run as ninjas... _

In the background, Neji was doing whatever a police officer would do in the background in a similar show that this scene is making a parody of.

"My job was to do random stuff like drinking coffee, typing on computers or putting up old files. But one time, I got a little bit over-ambitious when I wanted to put some files back on a shelf..."

Neji climbed up a ladder at a file shelf, but the ladder tilted backwards.

_Anko: The suspect is what appears to be a life-sized cutout of Heero... _

"Watch out!" A crew member cried out and the host ran away from the set. The ladder hit the glass window that had the **_'Konoha's Most Wanted' _**title and Neji was sliding down the glass window, with his face on the on the window, causing everyone to laugh...

* * *

Back in the lift... 

"That was you!" Sasuke said in surprise and he laughed.

Neji continued. "See, you are only remembered for the bad things that happened to you while the good things you do are easily forgotten..."

Sasuke and Neji walked out of the lift and Sasuke suddenly said, "I think I'll ask Kurenai again."

"But Sasuke, Iruka said that you're not supposed to go near her. She may have fled the country by now."

Sasuke was calm as he made his way to the exit. "Not to worry, her husband's funeral is tomorrow. She'll be there". Sasuke walked out of the building.

"Oh no, Sasuke, we can't," Neji called out as he followed Sasuke.

"I'm only going to talk to her. What could happen?"

* * *

**Two days later... **

Iruka was reading the papers, with the headline **_'Funeral Outrage'_** and a picture of Sasuke, Neji and a flying coffin. Neji and Sasuke were in their Jonin uniforms in front of Iruka's desk.

"Do you know who's writing these articles?" Iruka asked.

Sasuke looked away. "Yep."

"Sakura Haruno."

Neji looked at Sasuke. "Who's Sakura Haruno?" asked Neji.

"Sasuke?" asked Iruka.

"Well," Sasuke spoke out. "Let's just say that I never had a good relationship with the press."

Iruka nods. "That's one way to put it."

"So, are we sacked?" asked Sasuke.

"I'm leaving that decision with Orochimaru." Then Iruka ordered, "But at this moment, you two are not to leave this building, understand? You're on night watch duty."

* * *

At the lift, Sasuke vents his anger as he hits the lift button with Neji watching.

* * *


	3. Not a Pikachu

**Stinking Shurikens **

Disclaimer: All characters, songs and scenes belong to their respective owners...

_Chapter 2: Not a Pikachu _

**A/N:** In this fanfic, there are characters who are not who you expect.

* * *

Three Jonins were trying to hold on to a struggling man wearing sunglasses as they entered the station...

"You got to believe me, I'm innocent! I did not peep into the girls' bathroom! Honestly!"

The man sees Sasuke and Neji at the desk.

"It's those guys on the paper! One f-k-up I can understand! Two even, but f-ing three? You guys are f-ing losers!"

"Come on, Ebisu!" The Jonins pulled Ebisu away...

Sasuke and Neji watched the scene. "I hate this f-ing night job."

Neji picks up a multi-colored pen. "Say, don't you think this pen is interesting? Four colors in one."

"Yeah, but what is the green for?" asked Sasuke. "No one uses the green color."

"But it does pose an interesting question," said Neji. "So, who's Sakura Haruno?"

Sasuke gives a glare at Neji. "Come on, Neji! Do I ask you how you and your wife get along at home?"

Neji grinned. "Well, we're getting along really fine. Been shaking things up in the bedroom when Tenten learned how to make me feel her org..."

"Forget that I asked that question," said Sasuke.

"Who's Sakura Haruno?" Neji asked again.

Then, a woman's voice spoke out. "That would be me." Neji and Sasuke saw a pink-haired woman, who was with Kiba and Shino.

"So, you're here to insult us in person now, Sakura?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura raised her hands that were handcuffed.

"What's going on?" Sasuke asked.

"It appears that Miss Haruno was blackmailing Mr. Sarutobi," Shino explained "Her fingerprints were found on an envelope in the car."

"So, there is a Pikachu watching over us." Sasuke grinned and then took Sakura by the arm. "Please, let me deal with her processing."

Sasuke pulled Sakura to the interrogation room. "You never lost your touch," mumbled Sakura.

As Neji watched the two, he looked at Shino and Kiba. "How did it happen?"

"She was an ex-**ANBU**," explained Kiba.

"A very disgruntled ex-**ANBU**," corrected Shino.

"So, she blackmailed Sarutobi, was an ex-**ANBU** and writes for the _'Konoha News'_, that will put her in there for three years and something that newspapers would like to hear."

"Yeah, but wait till the papers find out that she used to f-k with your partner," said Kiba.

* * *

Sasuke was getting Sakura's fingerprints.

"Obviously, we have these on your old file," said Sasuke as he smirked.

"Just do your job, Sasuke."

Sasuke then said, "Sakura, between you and me, we've really finished that businessman off, didn't we?"

"What are you talking about?" Sakura asked with a disgruntled voice.

* * *

Shino and Kiba were about to leave. 

"Gentlemen, I would like to officially retract that contemptuous glare I've given you in the corridor this afternoon," Neji said, "So, how's the Jiraiya case going?"

"We're...reviewing the evidence," Shino replied.

* * *

Sakura was being prepared for a mug shot.

"A little bit more to the back, Sakura." Sakura moved back. "Now, a bit to the left." Sakura moved to the left. "Now, just show a bit of cleavage..."

Sakura sends a death glare at Sasuke's camera, and Sasuke took the photo.

* * *

Sasuke puts Sakura in a cell. "So, what time do you want me to bring breakfast?"

"You know this is bullshit, Sasuke. I didn't send any photographs, I only sent a disk."

"A disk? What was on it?" Sasuke asked.

"What?" Sakura spoke with surprise in her voice, "Now you're suddenly interested?"

"Did you keep a copy?"

Sakura looked at Sasuke. "Yeah, right. I'm not that much of an idiot, Sasuke."

* * *

Neji was at the desk when Sasuke walked by with Sakura's belongings.

"Neji, after work, we'll be heading to Sakura's apartment."

"Why? She's still got some your CDs?"

"Yes. But now that I got her keys..." Sasuke takes out the keys to Sakura's apartment.

"Gotta Catch Em All," Neji said.

* * *

Sasuke and Neji entered Sakura's apartment.

"So, Sasuke, exactly as the way you left it?" Neji asked.

"Can we make that the last of our comments, Neji?"

"I understand, Sasuke."

* * *

Neji was checking Sakura's computer. "Nothing. Not a Pikachu. Not even a screw. Zero...zilch. "

Sasuke was checking out Sakura's music CD collection. "Man, what kind of music does she listen to? KPop. JPop. Pokémon Music?"

Neji switches the computer off. "Nothing. And there's no disks. It could be anywhere..."

Sasuke looked at Neji. "Anywhere, you say, Neji?"

* * *

Sasuke was holding Neji up to a lamp high up in the ceiling.

"Found anything, Neji?"

"Well, I found her passport and her bankbook." Neji checked the lamp. "Hey, what's this?"

"What is it, Neji?"

"It's a photo of you and Sakura."

Sasuke was trying to keep his balance as he was on a chair on a dining table, holding Neji up.

"Neji, you're really f-ing pushing it!"

"No, I'm serious, here." Neji drops the photo to Sasuke and as Sasuke caught the photo, he lost his balance. It felt like an eternity as Sasuke look at the photo of himself and Sakura in their Jonin uniforms and he landed his back on the floor.

"I thought she burned all of these?"

"Sasuke!" Neji called out as he was hanging from the ceiling lamp.

"Shit, Neji!" Sasuke quickly got up.

"You could use that ladder in the corner," said Neji.

Sasuke sees a ladder. "Since when did you know that there was a ladder?" Sasuke asked.

"Since we came in."

Sasuke facefaulted.


	4. Like a Kunai to its Holster

**Stinking Shurikens **

Disclaimer: All characters, songs and scenes belong to their respective owners...

_Chapter 3: Like a Kunai to its Holster... _

_**A/N: **I was planning on posting up the first chapter of **My Schoolmate, The Shinobi** before posting this chapter up, but I wasn't able to due to a slight problem. So, instead, this goes up first._

* * *

As Sasuke and Neji left Sakura's apartment, both of them were being photographed by a hidden figure.

* * *

Sasuke and Neji were at a Ramen stand. Then, Neji started to ask a question. "So, how did you know there was a disk?" 

"Sakura never lies. Its one of her annoying quirks."

Neji looks at the photo of a younger Sasuke and Sakura.

"Sakura and I were at the academy together," Sasuke said. "We even became Jonins on the same day."

"Really?"

"Yep. Both of us were like a Kunai to its Holster..."

* * *

**10 Years ago, the ****Konoha** **Ninja** **Academy****: Jonin Training Ground **

Sasuke was at a training course as he looks around. Some targets popped up and Sasuke throws some shurikens at the targets. Another target popped up behind Sasuke and Sasuke quickly made accurate shots at the targets behind him.

Suddenly, a pink-haired girl appeared at the entrance of the training grounds. Sasuke quickly jumped out of the way as the girl threw shurikens from her weapons pouch at some moving targets behind Sasuke. Sakura gives a small wink at Sasuke. As soon as Sakura ran out of shurikens, two more targets appeared next to Sakura and Sakura quickly took out two kunais from her weapons holster and sliced the two targets in half.

As Sakura finished with the two targets, she sees a moving target and does some back flips as Sasuke threw his remaining shurikens from his weapons pouch, ripping the moving target to shreds.

Sakura finished the back flips and landed right on Sasuke. Sasuke and Sakura stared at each other for a while, and then they began to kiss...

* * *

Neji stared at Sasuke. "You're making this up, aren't you?" 

"Well, that's what we saw in ourselves," Sasuke explained, "After we graduated, we had our first taste of being Jonins."

* * *

Sakura and Sasuke were looking through some old files. Suddenly, a target appeared. 

"I won't let you hurt Sakura!" Sasuke yelled as he throws a barrage of shurikens at the target as Sakura quickly made a dramatic jump out of the way...

Suddenly, Neji spoke out. "Now, stop that."

* * *

"What really happened, Sasuke?" Neji asked as he was beginning to get impatient. 

"**ANBU ZERO**," Sasuke answered.

* * *

Sakura, Sasuke, Orochimaru and a group of **ANBU**s and entered a brand new office, celebrating something that is close to a housewarming party as Sakura threw away the plastic covering the new office chairs and desks... 

"A unit that is only answerable to itself, completely independent from ninja units in Konoha. We were right there...in Ground Zero."

* * *

"But then again, they're all the same as the others, just in a different building and more privacy." Sasuke eats his Ramen. "And the usual out-of-regulations cash incentives." Sasuke looked at Neji. "Tell me, have you ever..." 

"Bashed a man to death with a stone turtle? Nope," Neji answered.

"I mean..."

"Taken a bribe?" Neji finished Sasuke's question again. "Nope, never ever. But that was the first time in a few years since you almost ask me that question."

"Sorry about that," Sasuke apologized.

It was Neji's turn to ask the question. "What about you? Have you ever received a bribe?"

"Well, there have been offers, but I closed the counter on them," said Sasuke.

"So, why did Sakura leave **ANBU ZERO**?"

"Remember the _'Zabuza case'_ a few years back?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh yeah," Neji remembered, "The mad swordsman who killed a tyrannical businessman as part of a job. What about him?"

"We had a case on him but after 10 months, he was murdered by a Kunai in the back of the head, so a 10-month case totally went down the drain."

"And Sakura quit and you got the blame," guessed Neji.

"Yep." Sasuke sighed.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kiba and Shino were interrogating Sakura in her cell.

* * *

In the evidence room, Sasuke was with Kakashi as Sasuke looked at one envelope with Sakura's fingerprints. 

"And this is the evidence? One envelope?" asked Sasuke.

"Well, there were some photographs," Kakashi said, "some pretty...**'H'** Photographs."

"So, where are the photos?"

Kakashi pointed upwards. "They're on the 11th floor. Next to the banned **_Icha Icha Paradise_** issues."

"That **'H'**?" Sasuke looked around, and then asked, "Hey, Kakashi, did you happen to make any copies of them? For archival purposes."

"Well, that would be acting outside of regulations," Kakashi said as he opens a file cabinet and takes out the copies of the photos and showed them to Sasuke. "I should have expected better from you, Sasuke."

"You're right, Kakashi."

Sasuke looks at the photos.

"Man, just one look at this tells me that his respected title would go down the drain if this ever goes public."

* * *

"Afternoon, gentlemen," greeted Sasuke as he pass by Shino and Kiba on his way Sakura's cell with a file.

* * *

In Sakura's cell, Sasuke put down three envelopes in evidence bags. 

"Ok, Sakura, which envelope did you send to Asuma?"

Sakura began to laugh. "Sasuke, you got to be kidding." Sasuke had a serious look on his face.

"Trust me," Sasuke said.

"Come on, say it to me again this time and I won't laugh." Sasuke still looked serious, so Sakura stopped laughing and pointed at the envelope with her fingerprints. "That one."

* * *

In Iruka's office, Sasuke put down Sakura's envelope and the photos. "This is Sakura's envelope, and these are one-to-one copies of the photos. The originals aren't folded, so the photos don't fit," Sasuke explained, "The envelope Sakura sent had a computer disk in there. So, this is enough evidence to say that Sakura is innocent." 

"Very well, I'll release Sakura."

"She's on to something, Iruka. Just put Neji and I back on the case...at least just for a week."

"One at a time, Sasuke."

Iruka made a phone call. "Choji, we're releasing Sakura Haruno..."

* * *

Sakura and Sasuke walked out of **ANBU ZERO HQ**. 

Sasuke had a smirk. "Well, I got you out."

"Alright, did you get a copy of the evidence report?" asked Sakura.

"Nope. Some idiot busted the photocopier."

"Well?"

"Well, you don't expect me to go around with a pen and paper..."

"Alright, there was a copy disk." Sakura puts on a pair of sunglasses.

"In your apartment?"

"Two doors to the left," Sakura said as she walked off.

"Two doors to the left...great."

* * *

Sasuke was driving with Sakura at the passenger seat. 

"Do you remember the last time you came to my apartment?

Sasuke shakes his head.

"Liar. You don't remember showing up at my place drunk one time, claiming to tell me something important, before throwing up on three of my guests!"

Sasuke grinned. "Well, I hope you cleaned up."

* * *

Sasuke and Sakura arrived to a scene of a fire. 

"What happened!"

"Sakura-chan!"

Sakura sees her friend, Ino.

"Ino, what happened!" Sakura asked Ino.

"The whole place just blew up."

"Did you happen to grab..."

Ino shook her head.

"But how did they know?"

Sasuke looked at Sakura and asked, "Who's they?"

In a van nearby, a Shinobi was listening in to the conversation from a listening device.

_Sakura: Where am I going to live?_

_Sasuke: There's room at my place, Sakura._

_Sakura: Ever heard of the phrase, **'not in a million f-ing years'**!_

* * *


	5. Dial K for Vendetta

**Stinking Shurikens **

Disclaimer: All characters, songs and scenes belong to their respective owners...

_**Chapter 4**: Dial K for Vendetta_

* * *

At Sasuke's apartment, Sasuke sat on his couch, and then he called out to Sakura. "Well, are you coming in or not?!" 

Sakura entered the apartment. "You sure live the lonely life."

"Well, my girlfriend's..."

"Invisible?" asked Sakura.

"Actually, she's a reporter who hasn't spoken to me in 5 f-ing years and writes bad things about me and my co-workers on the Konoha News," corrected Sasuke.

"Well, your co-workers razed my home to the ground, so I guess we're even," Sakura rebutted.

"My co-workers?!

"Who do you think tried to set me up?" Sakura sees a photo of herself and Sasuke. "I thought you burned all of these?"

"Well...I," Sasuke tried to explain.

"Remember our system? 234 moves?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke smiled and nods. "Yep, 9 for each letter of the alphabet."

"Alright, Y1," Sakura ordered.

Sasuke suddenly takes out a deck of **Yu-Gi-Oh** cards in one hand, ready for a duel.

"Next, P3!"

Sasuke quickly takes out a Pikachu stuffed toy and prepared to use it as a shield.

"E9!"

Sasuke instantly put away the Cards and stuffed toy the same way they appeared, mysteriously out of nowhere.

"C4."

Sasuke groaned. "Not C4."

Sakura grabbed Sasuke's arm and flipped him onto a couch.

"I only liked C4 if we were on the bed."

"T6."

Sasuke looked up at Sakura. "Would that be a Katana on one side?"

"Two katanas on each side," Sakura corrected.

"Yeah. And what about Z9?" Sasuke asked with a cheeky grin on his face.

"I believe that in your book, it would be one Shinobi putting his tongue into the other Shinobi's mouth".

"Well, I suppose I could let Neji wouldn't like that."

"You didn't tell him about our system?!"

"Just kidding," Sasuke said as he walked into the kitchen, "So, what was on that disk?"

"Remember the time Zabuza got whacked?" Sasuke nods. "You see, I've checked into his finances. It appears that he has been making 29 rather large payments."

"To who?" Sasuke asked.

"Codenames. Used by members from **ANBU ZERO**."

"Why Asuma?"

"Because Asuma was the only one I could trust," Sakura explained, "Then again, I should have sent it to you so that you would have filed this under _'this is not really happening'_."

"Well, Asuma died because of that disk."

"Then, help me, Sasuke. Help me close this case."

Sasuke looked away. "Without the disk, we don't even have a case."

Sakura stood up. "You're so weak, Sasuke," Sakura said and she left the room...

* * *

**ANBU ZERO HQ **

Kiba and Shino were sent into Iruka's office.

"You let her go?!" Shino asked.

"What the f-k were you two doing?" said Iruka.

"What do you mean?" Kiba asked.

"Didn't you try putting the photographs into the envelope?" asked Iruka.

"She's mixed up in this somehow," Shino said.

"Listen, you two. There will be a full investigation. Both of you are suspended."

"But, her fingerprints was on one of the envelopes, sir!" protested Shino.

"Yes, in an envelope she claims that contains a computer disk," Iruka said, "What was on that disk, Shino?"

Suddenly, three Shurikens hit Shino in the face and body, killing him instantly. Iruka turns around to see Kiba pulled out a kunai throws it at Iruka...

Meanwhile, the other **ANBU** members outside at their desks were oblivious to what was going on in Iruka's office.

Kiba quickly took the Kunai from Shino's weapon's holster and Kiba braced himself as he stabs his own arm...

At that instant, Choji heard a noise from the office.

"What's going on?"

Choji tried to open the door, but it was locked. "Does anyone have a key?"

Choji opened the door, only to see two dead bodies and an injured Kiba who appeared to have used his weapon in self-defence.

"He just went berserk," Kiba explained, "I tried to stop him, but he killed Iruka!"

* * *

Sasuke was watching the news. 

**_Newscaster:_**_ The machines are the work of Konoha Arcade boss, Jiraiya, to allow for interruption-free __Arcade__ gaming. _

Jiraiya was on the news.

**_Jiraiya: _**_The customer, or _"**VIP**"_ as we like to say, inserts his or her credit card into the __Arcade__ machine, and they're all set for the evening. _

"You got to be joking," Sasuke said to himself as he picked up the phone and called Neji. "Neji, check out the news."

**_Newscaster: _**_The Mayor was quick to respond. _

Mayor Naruto was at a press conference.

**_Naruto: _**_Well, I think its taking advantage of people's fun. This is not something that a _**'family-friendly'**_ mayor could ever condone. _

**_Reporter: _**_Is this a new low for Konoha? _

**_Naruto: _**_A new low for the town that is in a _**'hole'**

Naruto had a small laugh, and then composed himself.

**_Naruto: _**_No. Absolutely not. _

Suddenly the news changed to a report on Iruka...

"Hey Neji, its Iruka on the news."

**_Newscaster: _**_Now, onto the latest on the **ANBU ZERO** killings. It is confirmed that one of the dead was the acting commander of the controversial** ANBU ZERO **unit, Iruka... _

Sasuke watched the news with a shocked look on his face.

* * *

Sasuke and Neji entered the office to pay their condolences and sees Choji standing near the entrance. 

"Where's Kiba?" asked Sasuke.

"He's at the hospital," replied Choji.

Neji placed a hand on Choji's shoulder. "Look, I'm sorry to hear about Iruka," said Neji.

"Yep, I smell f-kwits," a voice said. Both Sasuke and Neji saw Orochimaru was standing outside his office, who has been released from hospital after his plastic surgery.

"Orochimaru, you're back from the hospital," said Sasuke. "You look pretty well. Don't you agree, Neji?"

Neji looked at Orochimaru. "Well, I can't really endorse _'pretty'_, but I can say that he looks _'well'_."

"Do you know what are the good things about hospitals?" asked Orochimaru.

"Erm...they only show good shows on TV?" was Sasuke's answer, "or maybe not."

Orochimaru picks up the newspaper with the **_'Funeral Outrage'_** news article. "Close, but I was thinking of saying that it's a great opportunity to catch up on my reading."

"Those three disasters were completely taken out of context!" Neji protested.

"I'll let the stairs decide on that." Orochimaru pointed at two barrels next to him.

"Oh get f..." Before Neji could finish cursing Orochimaru...

* * *

"Owww! Owww! Oww! Oww! Oww!" 

Two barrels were rolling down 8 flights of stairs. Each barrel contains a Shinobi stuffed inside by Orochimaru's orders before being pushed off the stairs.

* * *

Sasuke was lying on his couch with an ice pack on his torso when he received a phone call from Neji. Sasuke answers the phone call. 

"Don't mention stairs or barrels, Neji."

_Neji (on the other end of the phone): What the f-k just happened, Sasuke? _

"What's your side of the story?" Sasuke asked.

_Neji (on the phone): My guess is that Shino tried to frame Sakura, Iruka found out, and Shino went on a rampage by killing Iruka. _

"You know what? I'll have a talk with Kiba." Sasuke said as he got up from his couch.

_Neji (on phone): Hey, on the bright side, at least Tenten's taking advantage of my vulnerable position and placed me on a very carnal work-out. Unfortunately, I didn't do too well in my current condition, so, instead of playing Twister, she's making soup for me." _

Sasuke sighed and hangs up.

* * *

"It's an open-and-shut case, Sasuke," said Kakashi, "I can't see what you are looking for?" 

In the evidence room, Sasuke was the kunai that killed Iruka. "But why didn't Shino leave behind any fingerprints on the weapon? If he would have gone berserk, he would have used his bugs to do the job."

"Yeah, that does seem out of the ordinary," said Kakashi as he starts to understand what Sasuke was deducing.

* * *

At Konoha Hospital... 

Kiba was on the hospital bed, telling his part of the incident to Sasuke.

"He was on a vendetta."

"Dial Kunai for vendetta?" asked Sasuke.

"He was on to Sakura so much that when Iruka found out, he just went crazy," said Kiba.

"Did Iruka ever mention of a computer disk?" Sasuke asked.

Kiba shakes his head.

"Ok."

* * *

Back in the Evidence Room, Sasuke was looking at Sakura's envelope. 

"Why was this in Asuma's car?" asked Kakashi.

Sasuke looked at the envelope and said, "Because it contained a computer disk." Then, Sasuke asked, "Who was first on the scene?"

Kakashi gave Sasuke the evidence report. "Kiba signed the report."

Sasuke looked at the report number. "Why would the first page of the report be numbered **5301**? Shouldn't it be **5300**?"

Kakashi looked at the report number. "You're right. Who would tear off the first page?"

Sasuke takes a blank piece of paper and a pencil and Sasuke started to do a bit of shading on the paper. After a few seconds, he sees the evidence that was supposed to be on the first page, which is missing in the second, "_one computer disc._"

* * *

Neji was on his bed reading the pencil shading of the list that had included the computer disk. "It looks like Kiba wrote the disk off the report knowing what was on it." 

"Gotta catch em all," said Sasuke.

"What do you think, Tenten?" asked Neji.

Tenten was at the bedroom door. "I think we should call the proper authorities."

"It appears that the _'proper authorities'_ are the ones behind this are with Kiba," said Neji.

"Around 29, maybe more," adds Sasuke.

"So, who can we trust?" asked Neji.


	6. Mr Shikamaru and Half a Bag of Sugar

**Stinking Shurikens **

Disclaimer: All characters, songs and scenes belong to their respective owners...

**_Chapter 5: _**_Mr. Shikamaru and Half a Bag of Sugar _

* * *

Sasuke and Sakura were at a Ramen stand and Sakura was looking at the shaded paper.

"So, do you remember the codenames?" asked Sasuke.

"Yeah, but don't they change their codenames every two months?"

"I know," Sasuke said as he scratches his head, "But when did the transactions take place?"

"Right on the July before Zabuza got whacked," said Sakura.

"I see. So if we could match the code names to the date," Sasuke scratches his chin.

"This is starting to be a headache."

"Couldn't you get the information from the **ANBU ZERO** Mainframe?" asked Sakura.

"Nope, the whole floor is locked off. What about the ventilation shaft?"

"Hey, I'm not a kid anymore. I can't fit in there. Who has access?"

"One guy, but he's...eccentric."

"Can you convince him to help us?"

"Nope, but I think Neji could convince him." Sasuke grinned. "Yes."

Sakura sighed. "No, Sasuke. I'm not having sex with you."

Sasuke looked disappointed. "Alright."

* * *

The next morning, Shikamaru was walking out of his house with a bicycle when he suddenly sees Neji in a suit.

"Hello, Shikamaru," Neji greeted as he leans on his car.

"Hello, Neji."

"Want to join me for a ride in my car?"

As Shikamaru was walking with the bicycle, he was blocked by Sasuke. "Could you please get your bike's wheel off my FOOT?!" Sasuke yelled out, pointing at the bike wheel on Sasuke's foot.

"Oh, sorry."

* * *

Inside Neji's car, Sasuke was struggling to remove the lock on the steering wheel as Neji and Shikamaru were in the back seat.

"Could you get this car moving already?!"

"Well, it's your f-ing second-hand steering wheel lock!" Sasuke yelled back.

"Look, just drive around the block." Neji then turned to Shikamaru. "I assumed that you have heard of Shino's little rampage on the eighth floor yesterday?"

Shikamaru nods.

"Well, it appears that Shino is at the tip of an iceberg. A very corrupt iceberg and the **'Konoha News'** is going to blow it wide open."

"The iceberg?"

Neji smiled. "Good, I see you're catching along. Its now time to choose sides, Shikamaru, because if you sit on the fence, you're going to be hit by a..." Neji was struggling to come up with a metaphor to use…

"_Stringy_?" suggested Shikamaru.

"Yes, stringy yo-yo. And any fence sitter will be trapped in the web of..."

Neji was interrupted by Sasuke driving over a speed bump.

"Sorry, Neji. Speed bumps."

"Where was I...any fence sitter will be trapped in the web of pretty guilty silk."

Shikamaru had a confused look on his face, then he asked Sasuke, "You have any idea what he's talking about?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"Listen, Shikamaru," Neji said. "Half of the **ANBU ZERO** is going down and as the one who handles the records, you smell bad."

"You got it all wrong," said Shikamaru. "All I do is process information, what do you want?"

"Just a bit of information. One little bit of information and you're with the good guys."

"Oh...you're the good guys?" Shikamaru said with sarcasm.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, we're with the good guys."

"Listen, I can't help you," explained Shikamaru. "I can't get you any information without authorization."

"Why? Because someone's looking over your shoulder?"

"Yes. He watches me whenever I work. I can't even switch on the computer without him."

* * *

Shikamaru was in the Computer Room with Kotetsu in the **ANBU ZERO** Mainframe. Both put in their keys into the CPUs and unlocked it at the same time. After that, both input their passwords on their keyboards at the same time, logging them into the **ANBU ZERO** mainframe.

_Shikamaru: The database is isolated. There is no online for hacking and we are constantly being watched by a security guard outside the room. _

Outside the room, Security Guard Izumo was looking at the security cameras.

_Shikamaru: And no one can get onto the floor without clearance. _

Izumo checked the clearance of a man who walked onto the floor.

* * *

"Good night, gentlemen," Izumo said as Kotetsu and Shikamaru left the room. Izumo locked the door.

_Shikamaru: After hours, the guard is still there and the camera is on. _

* * *

"Did I mention the very stringy yo-yo?" said Neji.

Sasuke suddenly stopped the car, walked out and pulled Shikamaru out by the collar.

"Listen, Shikamaru! Iruka, the only decent man in the whole f-ing **ANBU ZERO**, was killed yesterday and we could be next! How long have you been working in that room, Shikamaru?" Sasuke asked.

"Five Years, Six months," Shikamaru answered.

"And you have never once figured a way around the system."

Shikamaru looked around, then said, "Actually, I've always wonder whether it could be done."

"Good," Sasuke said.

* * *

**4:40 pm**

Shikamaru was looking around as Kotetsu was reading a magazine. Shikamaru _'accidentally'_ knocked over his cup of coffee over Kotetsu's pants.

"Oops! Sorry."

"What the hell?!"

"Take off your pants," Shikamaru said, "I'll go dry them."

* * *

On the security camera, Izumo notices that Kotetsu was removing his pants for Shikamaru.

"What the…?"

* * *

"Shikamaru! It's all over me!"

Shikamaru quickly took out a case and copied Kotetsu's Key, which happens to be connected to Kotetsu's pants. Then, Shikamaru quickly dried Kotetsu's pants and returned it to him.

* * *

**4:55 pm**

Shikamaru was walking away from the computer and he quickly ducked down and pulled out a power plug...

* * *

**4:56 pm**

Shikamaru was pressing some buttons on the computer, and then Kotetsu looked up.

"Looks like the power is out, Kotetsu," Shikamaru said as he pressed a few buttons, "Yep, a power unit is down."

* * *

**5:01 pm**

Kotetsu was leaving the room as Shikamaru walked out with a power unit. Izumo quickly stopped Shikamaru.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Izumo asked.

"Power unit's down. Have to take it to maintenance," Shikamaru explained.

Izumo looked at the power unit. "But I don't know what's in it."

"Well...it's my responsibility to make sure it's repaired."

Izumo sighed and locked the door. "I'll take it down. Of all the times to bring it out, it had to be end of the shift. That's it. I'm closing off the floor.

No one gets in."

Shikamaru nods and Izumo leaves with the power unit. Shikamaru quickly takes out a video tape out of his bag, and puts it in the VCR and records the security video of the empty room. After that, Shikamaru takes out his cell phone and makes a call. "He's on his way down."

* * *

Meanwhile, at Maintenance...

"Got it," replied Neji. Then, he walked into a room where, maintenance workers Yugi, Jono and Honda were watching a video.

"Hey, Neji? Is this the episode of _Sailor Moon_ they never wanted to show?" asked Jono.

"Yep, and the gentleman on the video is Tuxedo Mask himself."

"You're right! It is him," said Jono, "So, Neji. Got anymore stuff you confiscated?"

"Remember the time period between Goku finding all the Dragon Balls and the Cell Battle?" Neji takes out another tape. "Prepare to see Goku doing his other _'Kamehameha'_ to Chichi..."

* * *

Izumo brought the power unit to the maintenance floor.

* * *

As the workers were distracted by the videos, Neji took a maintenance coat and puts it on.

"Hey, Izumo," greeted Neji.

"Neji, they put you down here?" asked Izumo.

"Yep. Shoot one dead business man and here I am," Neji said.

"Well, I got to go."

Neji takes out his multi-colored pen. "Izumo, what do you think of this pen?"

"Not now," said Izumo, as he walked off.

Neji takes out his phone and called Shikamaru. "He's on his way up."

* * *

Shikamaru finished recording the surveillance video and puts it in his bag. Then he sees Izumo.

"Already done?" asked Shikamaru.

"See you tomorrow, Mr. Shikamaru," said Izumo.

* * *

Sasuke and Shikamaru were in the basement carpark as Shikamaru gave Sasuke the copy of Kotetsu's key and the video tape of the computer room.

"Are you sure this is going to work?"

"Its gonna have to," Shikamaru said before walking off.

* * *

Sasuke was moving around Konoha as he was memorizing the password Shikamaru gave him.

* * *

Anko looks at the copy of the key that was given to her by Sasuke. "Give me one hour."

* * *

Sasuke got back home and set up the video tape of the empty computer room and prepares to record it using two VCRs. He know that if he is going to get in there unnoticed, he needs to make sure that there is a smooth transition on the video...

* * *

The next day, at the cafeteria, Shikamaru was trying to pour sugar into his coffee, but the sugar was stuck, so Shikamaru removed the top and poured the sugar onto a spoon over the cup.

"Feeling nervous, Shikamaru?" Neji asked as he was reading the paper.

"Shhhh...we're not supposed to be seen together," whispered Shikamaru.

"We aren't together, Mr. Nara," said Neji, "I'm reading the paper while you're pouring almost half a bag of sugar into your coffee."

"Oh...shit." Shikamaru quickly stopped pouring the sugar and quickly stirred his coffee.

"Shikamaru, why did you want to help us?" asked Neji as he continues to read the paper.

"Iruka was actually a good friend of mine," Shikamaru said. "And I would have preferred that he was alive."

Sasuke entered the cafeteria with the video tape. "Its showtime!"

* * *

Shikamaru pushes the power unit back to the room on the 10th floor, but Izumo was blocking the way.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" asked Izumo.

"The unit is fixed."

Izumo did not budge. "I can't let you go in there."

"But it's my responsibility."

Izumo sighed and said, "Alright, just this once..."

As Izumo pushes the power unit back into the room, Shikamaru quickly puts the tape into the VCR and presses Play, then Shikamaru sees what's on Free-to-Air TV as Izumo locks the door.

_Host: Welcome back to _**"Who wants to make millions"**_, where ordinary Anime characters will answer questions in order to win $100, 000! I am your host, Hinata Hyuga. _

"Remember, this never happened," said Izumo.

"Sure." Shikamaru sees what's on TV. "Is that the semi-finals?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yeah, this woman is really going well."

* * *

In the computer room, the Power Unit opened and Sasuke got out.

Sasuke walked to the computer with the two keys and switches the computer on. Then, he typed in the password on both keyboards.

* * *

_Hinata: Rei Ayanami, for $480, which of these don't fit? _

**_a) Alchemist  
b) Ninja  
_****_c) Tamer  
_****_d) Cardcaptor_**

"Well, time for me to go." As Shikamaru took one last look at the security camera's screen, he realized that Sasuke didn't record the footage properly. Instead, it was a recording of a soccer match. Shikamaru quickly called out, "Cardcaptor!"

_Hinata: Correct. _

"No, it's **Tamer**, right?" Izumo pointed out.

"No, I mean, Cardcaptor is not a job, unlike all the others. I mean if card capturing is a job, then Yugi Mutou would be the foremost expert in card capturing," explained Shikamaru.

Shikamaru is overstaying his welcome. "Time to go home, Mr. Shikamaru," said Izumo.

Shikamaru looked back at the security video. It was back to what it was supposed to show: Footage of an empty computer room.

* * *

Sasuke found the file he was looking for. Sasuke puts in a disk and copies the file on to the disk. After the file is copied, it suddenly deleted itself.

"What the…?"

As soon as Sasuke finished, he got back into his hiding place within the power unit.

* * *

Neji went to the 10th floor and walked towards Izumo.

"Hey! I can't let you in here?"

"Where's the f-ing unit?" Neji asked.

"In there? Why do you want it?"

"It needs to be reset or the system might blow up. It's a time bomb in there."

"It's not plugged in."

"If anything goes wrong, you and Shikamaru will be held responsible." Neji takes out his cell phone makes a call. "I'm getting some resistance here, Orochimaru."

"Oh shit!" Izumo quickly walked to the computer room. As Neji tried to take the tape out of the surveillance video, Izumo got out of the room with the power unit, forcing Neji to leave the tape in.

"He got it." Neji hangs up. "Good job, I would recommend you for a Medal to Orochimaru."

Neji left with the power unit. As Izumo got back to his seat and takes one look at the surveillance camera, all he saw was a soccer match that Sasuke had once recorded while he was on a mission.

"Oh shit no." Izumo quickly makes a phone call.

* * *

Sasuke and Neji walked out of the lift, only to see Sakura, Kiba wearing an armsling and some **ANBUs**.

"Sakura?" Sasuke looked at the agents. "What's going on here?"

"This better be good!" Orochimaru's voice spoke out as he just entered the building.

"Oh, it is very good," Kiba said with a smirk.

* * *

In Orochimaru's office, the computer disk was on the desk.

"You see, Uchiha and Hyuga snuck into **ANBU ZERO**'s mainframe in order to destroy evidence in the form of data."

"I see. Very well," said Orochimaru. "Get rid of the disk."

"Wait," Sasuke said. "Don't you want to see what's in the disk otherwise it will be gone forever."

"What's going on?!" Orochimaru looks at Kiba.

Then, Sakura spoke. "Open it and see what's on it."

"What's she doing here?!" asked Orochimaru.

"Yeah, open it," Neji called out.

Orochimaru did not say anything. "What? Nothing for me?" Neji sarcastically asked.

"Shut the f..k up!" Orochimaru said to Neji. Then, Orochimaru looks at his assistant. "Kabuto, put the disk in my computer."

Kabuto took the disk and inserts it into the computer. Orochimaru opens the file.

"Alright, Sakura, say a name," said Sasuke.

Sakura recalls the names. "Orashi Kentaro."

Orochimaru looks at the file. "Hyuga."

Neji had a surprised look on his face. "What?"

"Yuji Sanada," said Sakura.

Orochimaru reads the file to the code name. "Aburame."

"Rinny _'Tin-Tin'_ Taro."

"Uchiha," said Orochimaru, with a smirk on his face.

"What? I was never Rinny _'Tin-Tin'_ Taro," said Sasuke

"These are the codenames of **ANBU** Shinobis who have received 29 highly questionable payments from one Zabuza Momochi," explained Kiba. "And he was involved in the razing of Miss Haruno's block of flats."

"But I was with Sakura at the time!" protested Sasuke.

"Yes, but where was Hyuga?" asked Kiba.

Kiba takes out some photos and it shows a picture of Neji outside Sakura's block of flats.

"Hyuga also had also wired your sunglasses. We found the transmitter in Hyuga's car."

Sakura takes out her sunglasses and looks at it. She finds the miniature microphone.

"This is totally unreal! You killed Iruka," Sasuke said to Kiba.

"I would have saved him if I was three seconds faster," said Kiba, with a bit of remorse.

Suddenly, Sasuke punched Kiba in the nose. As the other **ANBU** members held Sasuke down, Sakura walked to Sasuke and punched him in the nose.

"Now I see that you're much more lower than weak, Sasuke," said Sakura.

As Sakura angrily walked out of the room, Kiba wipes the blood off his nose, and whispered to Sasuke, "Someone's going down, and it's not me..."


	7. The Face of Corruption

**Stinking Shurikens **

Disclaimer: All characters, songs and scenes belong to their respective owners...

**_Chapter 6:_**_ The Face of Corruption _

* * *

The next day, Sasuke and Neji were escorted out of a cell in **ANBU** **Zero** HQ. 

"Did you get to make your phone call?" asked Neji.

"Yeah, made mine to my lawyers, Ketchum and Ketchum."

"I thought you can only get the one phone call?"

"What about you, Neji?"

"Told Tenten to stay with her parents and not to believe what she sees in the papers."

Sasuke and Neji entered the office to see all of the staff holding the **'Konoha News'**, with the headlines, _'**Sasuke Uchiha, the Face of Corruption**'_.

Neji looked at the newspaper report, then looks at Sasuke. "Hey, since when did you become the _'face of corruption'_, Sasuke?" asked Neji.

Neji and Sasuke walked into Orochimaru's office as Orochimaru laughing as he read the newspaper.

"Well, well, well. _'A deceiver who even had this reporter fooled.'_" Orochimaru reads the article out aloud. "Looks like you're in the deep shit."

"So, what's going to happen to us?" Sasuke asked.

Orochimaru had an evil laugh. "I will do what Iruka should have done a few weeks ago, I'm giving both of you the official boot! You see, Mr. Kiba has found some compelling evidence..."

"With all due respect, Mr. Orochimaru," said Sasuke. "Kiba is a f-ing liar!"

"And with no due respect, Mr. Uchiha," replied Orochimaru. "Get out of my f-ing office!"

Sasuke stormed out of the office, leaving behind Neji, standing silently as Orochimaru resumed his reading of the newspaper. Then...

"So, I'm just f-ing invisible, am I?" Neji mumbled, then walked out of the office, with Orochimaru not even listening to Neji.

* * *

That night, Sasuke was walking through the streets to Neji's house. As Sasuke reached the front door, he did not see a van across the street, where Kiba and Choji were listening into a listening device. 

_Sasuke (on listening device): Neji, do you mind if I stay over? I can't go home with the press crowding around my front door." _

_Neji (on listening device): Sure, Sasuke. Come on in. _

----------------------------------------

In the house, Neji takes out a card, reading, _'Front room bugged. Van parked outside.'_

"You mind having a seat in the living room?" Neji asked, but he stopped Sasuke from entering the living room. Neji switched on the lights, to make Kiba assume that they were there. Neji took out a cordless phone and switched to the intercom.

"Let's have a drink," said Neji. "How about a _2002 Kai Hiwatari wine_?"

"Sure, Neji."

----------------------------------------

Kiba and Choji did not know that the voices came from the intercom, as they listen in on the conversation.

_Neji (on listening device): So, did you call Sakura? _

_Sasuke (on listening device): Yep, and I get the same message every time, telling me to f-k off. Hey, this Kai wine tastes great._

_Neji (on listening device): Of course. _

----------------------------------------

Sasuke and Neji sneaked out the back door and climbed over the back fence and walked around the side of the house to see the parked van.

----------------------------------------

Back in the van.

"I say we do it now," said Choji.

Kiba stopped Choji. "Wait."

_Sasuke (on listening device): So, what do you think Kiba's next move would be? _

Kiba picks up a detonator.

_Neji (on listening device): I don't know. My guess is that he's probably going to kill us. _

Kiba presses the button, detonating a bomb that totally destroyed Neji's house.

"Look like the drinks are on me," said Kiba as he put the detonator down.

Choji started up the van and drove off. The bad guys did not notice Neji and Sasuke behind the cars.

"I don't believe it! He blew up my house!" Neji yelled out. "He's going to pay for that."

"Neji, no!" Sasuke chased after Neji.

Neji and Sasuke got into Neji's car, only to see that the steering wheel is locked.

"Oh F-K!" Neji cried out, "Why did I have to leave the key in the house?!"

Neji started up the car, with the lock in place, the car was only able to move around in circles. Neji tried to turn the steering wheel in the opposite direction, the car ended up scrapping the wheel along the roadside kerb, causing sparks to fly...

"Hey, Neji, I think you're a bit too close to the kerb..." Sasuke takes a look at the speedometer. The car's not going faster than **5 MPH** as its wheels are scraping the kerb, sending sparks flying.

----------------------------------------

Ahead, Kiba's van was stopped at the traffic lights, oblivious to what was going on behind them.

----------------------------------------

Neji was struggling with the steering wheel as it was still locked.

"Sasuke, we could have been killed. Tenten could have been killed too if she was in there..." Neji turns his head to the passenger seat, only to see that no one was there. "Sasuke?! Where did you go?"

Sasuke was jogging right next to Neji's car as the kerb was slowing the car down. "What the hell are you doing, Sasuke?"

"It's faster on foot," said Sasuke as he followed alongside the car.

"Get back in the car!"

Sasuke got back in.

"Help me with this lock, Sasuke."

Sasuke pulled the lock, only for it to break through the windshield and causing the car to turn away from the kerb.

At the same time, Choji was driving van when he notices a car moving out of control towards the N-gas station on the side mirror.

Neji and Sasuke finally loosened the lock on the steering wheel, only to see that the car was about to hit an **EZ gas** tank.

"Look out!" Sasuke and Neji quickly jumped out of the car and prepared for an explosion as sparks were flying. The gas tank did not explode as the car was traveling at a very slow speed and Sasuke and Neji rolling around the floor. A few seconds passed, and Sasuke and Neji painstakingly got up. "Gotta catch em...owwww!" Sasuke and Neji groaned in unison.

* * *

Neji finally removed the lock and Sasuke and Neji were just driving along a train track. 

Neji started to laugh. "Hey, Sasuke, don't you think that that was the most incompetent piece of driving in the history of high speed pursuits?" Neji asked.

"Yep. But at least we've got an advantage." Sasuke laugh, and said, "They don't know that we're still alive."

As Neji continued driving, a van was driving next to Neji's car with Kiba holding a megaphone. "Pull over!" Kiba yelled out.

Neji looked at Sasuke. "As you were saying, Sasuke?"

Neji stopped the car as the Vans pulled over and Kiba walked out of the van, holding a kunai with his uninjured hand and uses it to point at both Neji and Sasuke. "Both of you, out of the car."

"Not very happy, Mr. Kiba. I was hoping that they were a little more dead," a familiar voice said.

Both Sasuke and Neji recognized that voice. "I knew it," said Sasuke. "Orochimaru. I knew this was far too much for Kiba's small brain."

"Shut the f-k up, Uchiha! You two have butted in on our business for too long, but the fun is over for you two f-k knuckles because..."

A passenger train suddenly passed by, interrupting Orochimaru in mid-sentence. After the train passed, Orochimaru looks towards Kiba and asked, "Where was I?"

"_F-k knuckles_," reminded Neji.

"Alright, put them in the van and execute them!"

Neji and Sasuke were about to be put into the back of the van when suddenly, arrows landed straight onto Neji's car.

"Put your weapons down!" a familiar voice yelled out, "Be careful, I'm a very bad shot! Sasuke, Neji, over here."

Neji and Sasuke saw their savior and quickly ran to him. It was Shikamaru holding a rapid-fire crossbow with a car behind him.

"Errr...Shikamaru, if you were going to fire warning shots, couldn't you just try not to hit my car?" Neji said as he got in the driver's seat.

"Mr. Shikamaru," Orochimaru said, "I'm very disappointed with you."

"So am I, Mr. Orochimaru."

"What are you going to do, call the police?"

Shikamaru shoots at all of the wheels of the vehicles across the tracks. Then Shikamaru quickly got into the car. "Let's go!" Suddenly, Shikamaru's car stalled.

"Sorry. Won't be long."

The car finally started up and left the scene. Kiba was prepared to give chase when Orochimaru stopped him. "Don't worry. Konoha is a small town. Just send the word, use _'dead'_, _'alive'_ or anything in between."

Orochimaru walked off.

* * *

At a restaurant on the outskirts of Konoha, Shikamaru and Neji were having dinner. 

"Shikamaru, you actually saved our butts back there," Neji said, "Thanks."

"Your welcome."

Neji looks at Shikamaru's crossbow. "So, Shikamaru, where did you get that Arbalest Crossbow anyway?" Neji asked.

"It was my father's," said Shikamaru.

"I see," said Neji. "Aren't they illegal now?"

"It's for sporting purposes," explained Shikamaru.

"I see. Tell me, Shikamaru, remind me again which sport uses a rapid-fire crossbow?"

"Hockey," answered Shikamaru, "He was a very aggressive hockey player."

Sasuke was at the phone making a call to Sakura.

_Sakura's answering machine: Please leave a message after the beep and if that is you, Sasuke, get f... _

"Dammit," Sasuke mumbled as he continued to hear more abusive words from Sakura.

_Sakura's answering machine: ...so f-k off! _

**BEEP! **

"Sakura, I've read the paper. Earlier, Orochimaru tried to get us killed. If you don't believe me, look at Neji's house. Nothing but a pile of rubble." Sasuke sighed. "You're right, the whole **ANBU Zero** was just a pile of shit. About the photo you saw at my place. I took it from your place. I'm sorry that I took it, but it's just that..."

**BEEP! **

"F-k!" Sasuke angrily bangs the phone handle on the cradle and puts it back. Shikamaru and Neji were giving a strange look at Sasuke.

"What?"

"Nothing," said Neji.

Sasuke walked to the table. "So, Orochimaru has the combined resources and strength of the **ANBU Zero**. What do we have?"

Neji looked at the weapons on the table.

"Shikamaru's father's _'sporting equipment'_ consists of an Ablest, one kunai and what appears to be an old explosive tag."

Sasuke began to laugh...

"I think he's lost all hope," Neji said to Shikamaru.

"Wait," Sasuke said, "I know who can help us."

* * *

Kurenai opens her front door and sees Sasuke and Neji. 

"Sasuke?"

"Kurenai, listen to me. Whatever that is on the **'Konoha Times'** about me is all bullshit," explained Sasuke.

Kurenai smiled. "Don't worry, I don't read that paper."

Sasuke takes out his pack of cigarettes. "Want a smoke?"

"Sure."

Sasuke accidentally drops the pack, and as both Kurenai and Sasuke went to pick up the pack...

"Ow..."

Both Sasuke and Kurenai hit each other in the head.

----------------------------------------

Sasuke and Kurenai had ice packs on their heads. Sasuke was explaining to Kurenai.

"So you see, Kurenai, if your husband hadn't gone to Orochimaru, this wouldn't have happened."

"But I just don't understand. I met Orochimaru a few days ago to pay his respects," Kurenai said, "He said that Asuma was a very kind man."

Sasuke looked at Neji and asked, "What did Orochimaru say last night?"

"He said, _'Put them in the van and execute them'_," quoted Neji.

Kurenai's facial expression changed. "Give me the phone."

* * *

Orochimaru's secretary was outside his office, where Orochimaru was with Choji and Kiba. 

"Kurenai Sarutobi is on line 4."

"Really? I'll take it." Orochimaru picks up the phone and connects to line 4. "Kurenai?"

_Kurenai (on the other end): Mr. Orochimaru, I have found another copy of that disk. _

Orochimaru's face suddenly went a bit paler than it usually is. "Did you happen to see what was on the disk?"

_Kurenai (on the other end): Well, its just payments made by someone named... Zabuza Momochi. _

"Kurenai, just stay where you are. I am on my way."

_Kurenai (on the other end): You know what, I'll hand it to these two **ANBUs**. They say that they're with you. _

"What two ANBUs? No, Kurenai! Whatever you do, don't..."

_Kurenai: What?! Oh no! Keep back! _

Orochimaru hears signs of struggle and a bottle breaking, and then the phone hung up.

"Kurenai? Kurenai?"

----------------------------------------

Back at Kurenai's home, Kurenai smiled at Sasuke and Neji.

* * *

Kurenai was lying on the couch with her ice pack on her bruise forehead with Orochimaru and Kiba sitting at some chairs. 

"It was horrible. These two men attacked me and took the disk," Kurenai explained, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Kurenai. We'll get them." Orochimaru looked around. "Did you happen to see what was on the disk?"

"Oh, it's all just numbers with dollars, so I assumed that it's my husband's business things. Oh, and I think I may have seen your name, Mr. Kiba." Kurenai pointed at Kiba.

Orochimaru stood up. "Right, the hunt is on."

* * *

Meanwhile, at Sakura's new apartment, she was listening to Sasuke's message. 

_Sasuke's message: "You're right, the whole ANBU Zero was just a pile of shit. About the photo you saw at my place. I took it from your place. I'm sorry that I took it, but its just that..." _

**BEEP! **

_"F-k!" _

_Loud banging noise was heard, followed by **BEEP!** _

Just as Sakura got off the floor, the doorbell rang and Sakura opens it, seeing Kiba and Choji.

"Miss Haruno, would you mind coming with us downtown to the station, just for a few more questions?" asked Kiba.

Sakura was about to close the door on Kiba, but Kiba grabbed Sakura's arm. "Maybe I should rephrase that question..."

**

* * *

**

**ANBU ZERO HQ **

Kiba picks up the phone. "It's him."

Orochimaru presses the speaker button.

_Sasuke: Orochimaru? _

"Yeah?"

----------------------------------------

Sasuke, Neji and Shikamaru were in a hotel room.

"Orochimaru, we've got the disk and this time, no codenames. So if you want them..."

----------------------------------------

"We have your girlfriend, Uchiha."

----------------------------------------

"What?" asked a confused Sasuke.

----------------------------------------

"By _girlfriend_, he means me, Sasuke," explained Sakura as she sits next to Orochimaru and Kiba in a meeting room.

----------------------------------------

"Shit..." Sasuke mumbled softly.

----------------------------------------

"You can't win, Uchiha," Orochimaru gloated, "You'll have up till tonight to give me those files otherwise...you know what will happen."

Orochimaru hangs up and picks up the newspaper with Sasuke's face on it as the **'face of corruption'**.

"I guess you feel a little foolish now, little girl?"

Sakura looked at Orochimaru. "The face on the paper should have been yours, not Sasuke's."

* * *

"Its just keeps on getting worst and worst!" said Neji. 

"At least Sakura believes me now."

"Great, that's the only consolation prize. But we don't have any disk! Even if it did exist, Orochimaru is not going to let us go!"

Both Sasuke and Neji were silent. Then, Shikamaru said, "Who has authority over Orochimaru?"

"Well, there **Pikachu**, the f-ing **Prince of Darkness** for one!" Neji yelled out, but Sasuke suddenly realized who Shikamaru was talking about.

"Gotta catch em all!" said Shikamaru.

"Shikamaru, that was out of line," Neji said, "Only I can do the _'Gotta catch em all'_, got it?"

"Sorry," apologized Shikamaru.


	8. The Best City Hall in the World

**Stinking Shurikens**

Disclaimer: All characters, songs and scenes belong to their respective owners...

**_Chapter 7:_**_ The __Best_ _City Hall__ in the World _

* * *

**City Hall **

Neji and Sasuke were wearing hats as they followed a tour group that left a tour bus in front of the steps of City Hall.

A tour guide was leading a tour group into City Hall with a bunch of Digimon and Pokémon who were touring Konoha. "This City Hall was one classed as one of the best City Halls in the world, starting with the **World's Best Vestibule**, ever since three years after it was first built, when a bunch of embarrassing spelling mistakes were found on the construction plans." The Tour Guide pointed out.

Sasuke and Neji walked past the tour group towards the reception desk, where the head of security, Duo Maxwell sees the two.

"We're here to see the Mayor," Sasuke said and both Neji and Sasuke took out their ID cards. "We're **ANBU Zero**."

_Tour Guide: And what you see above is the arm of an Evangelion with an autograph by Asuka Soryu Langley. _

"Search them." Duo ordered some security guards and they searched Sasuke and Neji.

"What's going on?" asked Neji.

"I know who you are," said Duo, "You are the two most corrupt Law Enforcement Officers in the country."

"They're clean," said one of the guards

"It's a matter of life and death," explained Sasuke.

Mayor Naruto has just finished talking with his lawyers when he sees Sasuke and Neji at the front desk.

"Get them out of here!" ordered Duo. As the security guards escorted the Sasuke and Neji, Naruto walked to the group.

"Is there a problem?" asked Naruto, then he recognizes at Sasuke. "Hey, aren't you Sasuke Uchiha? You're one of the **ANBU Zero** originals."

"Yes, sir," replied Sasuke. "You shook hands with me nine years ago and wished me good luck. And now we need only five minutes of your time..."

* * *

Sasuke, Neji and Naruto were walking in the offices of City Hall. 

"Is this about Orochimaru?" asked Naruto.

"Partially," answered Sasuke.

"Ok."

Naruto, Sasuke and Neji entered the waiting room, where Naruto's secretary, Shizune, was at her desk.

"Shizune, any messages for me?"

"Oh, Naruto, Jiraiya called and said that he will be late."

Shizune gave Naruto the messages. "Alright, you two can wait out here while I go make a phone call."

Naruto entered his office. Both Sasuke and Neji waited on a chair and Neji picked up a newspaper.

"Look at this, Sasuke, do you think this guy looks handsome?" Neji shows a picture of Sasuke on the previous day's edition of the **Konoha Times**.

Shizune has exited the waiting room, so Sasuke went to the desk to check the phone.

"What are you doing, Sasuke?"

Sasuke presses the button on the phone and Naruto's voice was on the phone.

_Naruto: They're right outside my office. How long will it take to get here? _

_Orochimaru: Five minutes. _

Neji was surpsied. "That's Orochimaru's voice…"

"Shhhhh." Sasuke silenced Neji as he picks up a tape recorder and pressed the record button.

_Orochimaru: There might be another copy of the disk. _

_Naruto: Another copy? And when were you going to tell me that? _

_Orochimaru: It's all under control... _

_Naruto: How is it under control? _

_Orochimaru: We have Uchiha's girlfriend. _

_Naruto: Oh Pika. What's in this file? _

_Orochimaru: Names, amounts, everything. Zabuza must have been covering his own ass. He probably might have planned to blackmail us if we hadn't wiped him out first. _

* * *

Naruto was in his office. 

"Well, this is a f-ing mess, Orochimaru. I said no evidence, no papers, no disks, anything. I want those files destroyed and I want those two and the girl out of the picture for good, got it?" Silence. "Orochimaru?"

"Mr. Mayor," Sasuke's voice called out and Naruto turned around to see that Neji has unplugged the phone.

* * *

Naruto was at his desk. "You can't get away. Orochimaru will be here in five minutes." 

"It was all about you since the beginning, wasn't it?" asked Sasuke.

"I don't know what you are talking about," said Naruto.

"Don't play dumb, Naruto," Sasuke said, "The **ANBU Zero** was nothing more than just your very own private police force."

"Hang on, shouldn't you be trying to escape?" Naruto pointed at the exit.

"You're coming with us, Naruto," said Sasuke.

"And how are you going to threaten me? With your appearances by wearing ugly hats?" Naruto sarcastically asked, then he sees a letter opener. "Or with that letter opener on my back? Yeah, right in front of my staff and guards."

Neji takes off his hat and pulls out an explosive tag. "Naruto, think fast." Neji quickly stuck the tag onto Naruto's hands before Naruto could react.

"Don't even think of trying to take that tag off. It's very unstable," Neji explained. "Any attempt to remove it and it will explode."

"And killing us all? Good plan," commented Naruto.

"If we leave without you, we're dead and you know that. So, you will be joining the both of us for a little walk to the car park. If you try anything or get anyone's attention," threatened Neji. "We'll push you over and that will be the end of that, got it?" Naruto nods. "And one more thing..."

Neji picks up the letter opener and shows it in front of Naruto's face. "If you ever called Konoha a _'hole'_ or say _'family-friendly'_ in front of me ever again, I will shove this letter opener right into your head, comprendé?!"

With the threat more obvious, Naruto had no choice but to comply. "Errrr...sure."

* * *

Naruto had his jacket over his hands which were hiding the explosive tag as he left his office with Sasuke and Neji. 

"Shizune, I'm going out for a few minutes. Please hold my calls until I get back."

* * *

Meanwhile, a squad from **ANBU Zero** led by Orochimaru were on their way to City Hall...

* * *

Sasuke, Neji and Naruto had just reached the lift when at that moment... 

"Naruto!"

Naruto sees Jiraiya. "Oh, you..."

"Caught you at a bad time?" Jiraiya asked. He looked at Sasuke and Neji. "Do I know you two?"

"Oh, we're with Orochimaru," Sasuke said as he takes out the recorder presses the record button.

"For a second, I thought you've been arrested." The four began to laugh. Jiraiya held up some files. "Orochimaru said to pass these to you. I said I should shred them, but he said you'll deal with it, but it seems like you're hands are full."

Neji took the files. "I'll hold them for you, Mr. Mayor."

The lift arrived. "Thanks, friend," said Naruto.

"Yeah, thanks, Jiraiya," said Sasuke as he walked into the lift.

"I'll take care of the files for you, Jiraiya," Neji said as the lift doors closed. "Real good care of them."

Jiraiya turned around, only to see the newspaper article, with Sasuke as the **_'face of corruption'_**...

* * *

At the same time, Orochimaru and his group of agents entered City Hall...

* * *

Sasuke, Neji and Naruto walked out of City Hall at a side exit.

* * *

Orochimaru and his agents reached the lift when Jiraiya sees him. 

"Oh, Orochimaru."

"Not now, Jiraiya," said Orochimaru.

"I've gave those files to Naruto and your two friends," Jiraiya said.

Orochimaru slowly turned his head to Jiraiya. "You what?"

* * *

The trio reached a parked car and as Naruto got in, Neji pulled the explosive tag off Naruto's hands. "Want me to move the seat forward for you?" 

"What?!" Neji pushed Naruto into the car.

* * *


	9. DigiBalls

**Stinking Shurikens **

By PikaFlash

Disclaimer: All characters, songs and scenes belong to their respective owners...

**Chapter 8: DigiBalls**

* * *

Naruto was handcuffed to the handle bar above the door in the car as Sasuke was on the phone, making a call to Orochimaru. 

"Orochimaru, looks like I've just missed you."

_Orochimaru: "You've totally f-ed up big, this time, Uchiha! Once they find out that you've kidnapped the mayor, your face will be on every wanted poster in every law enforcement agency in __Japan__!"_

"Oh, Orochimaru, its best that we should keep this between ourselves. We're building up quite a database at this end."

Orochimaru calmed himself.

_Orochimaru: "Alright, what do you want?" _

"Easy, give us Sakura, we'll give you Naruto and you'll get the files."

_Orochimaru: "Right, tell me where." _

"Oh no, Orochimaru, I'm not letting you set up an ambush. I'll tell you in one hour, just get yourself, Sakura and Kiba into a car. And put Sakura in a vest and a helmet."

_Orochimaru: "What is this about?" _

"I wouldn't want you to stab Sakura in the back, would I?"

_Orochimaru: "Fine, and I want the same for the Mayor." _

"Now that's just insulting, Orochimaru."

_Orochimaru: "That's right, you only take a stab at dead people." _

Sasuke looks at one of the payments. "Looks like Jiraiya has paid you a large Christmas Bonus. 200 Grand from the US."

_Orochimaru: "Alright, you'll get your one hour." _

Orochimaru hangs up.

"Damn, I never get to hang up on him."

Naruto gave an odd look at Sasuke.

* * *

The car stopped at the side of the road and Sasuke was making a call while Neji was having a drink and he held up a can of soda in front of Naruto. 

"Want a drink, Mr. Mayor?"

Naruto had a pissed off look on his face. "I apologize for the explosive tag thing, but if its any consolation," said Neji. "My house was blown up last night. I lost my home, my job and my car..."

Naruto looked at Neji's face. "Aren't you that funny guy on _'Konoha's Most Wanted'_ a few years ago?" Naruto asked.

Neji sighed. "Yep...I still got that."

Sasuke finished his call. "Shikamaru has found us a van to use."

Neji walked to Sasuke and said, "Sasuke, you know we're going to die."

"Well, only one person can save us now."

"Who? Sonic the Hedgehog?"

"It's a she." Neji looked clueless. "I mean, Sakura!" said Sasuke.

"Oh!"

* * *

Orochimaru, Kiba, Sakura and a group of **ANBU** Zero agents walked to a black van. Orochimaru's **ANBU**s entered the back of the van, carrying an arsenal of weapons. 

"You got it, Kabuto?" Kabuto walked to Orochimaru with a grenade launcher. "Good." Kabuto entered the back van with the **ANBU**s.

* * *

Orochimaru was at the wheel, next to Sakura and Kiba. The **ANBU**s were at the back of the van. 

"What does he see in you?" Kiba asked Sakura.

"I'd show you at the back," said Sakura, as she looked at the back of the van where the **ANBU**s were sitting. "But there doesn't seem to be enough room."

Orochimaru's phone rings and he answers it. "What?"

_Sasuke: "What are you driving, Orochimaru?" _

"A black van."

_Sasuke: "Get yourself to the beach..." _

Orochimaru started up the van as the **ANBU**s closed the curtains to conceal themselves, hiding the back of the van.

* * *

Sasuke, Neji, Shikamaru and Naruto were in a van. 

"Well?" Sasuke asked.

Neji looked around. "Nope, no sign of an ambush." The beach is totally deserted.

* * *

Orochimaru was driving the black van along the road to the beach, then Orochimaru receives another phone call. 

"What now?" asked Orochimaru.

_Sasuke: "Make a left turn near the entrance to Fujiyama beach._"

* * *

Sasuke hangs up. "They're coming." 

Neji looked at Shikamaru. "There's still time to run like f-k, Shikamaru."

"Yeah, but what about the very stringy yo-yo?" asked Shikamaru.

Sasuke sees the black van and calls Orochimaru. "Hey, Orochimaru, what's in the van?"

"Just the three of us," replied Orochimaru on the phone.

"That's far enough," said Sasuke.

Orochimaru stopped the van, then, he picks up the phone. "Now what?" asked Orochimaru.

"Easy, set them up and send them over," said Sasuke.

"Right, we'll be ready in a minute." Orochimaru hangs up. "Alright, boys."

The **ANBU**s prepared their weapons. Kabuto received a phone call from Orochimaru on his cell phone.

* * *

"As soon as we get the Mayor, give them everything you got!" ordered Orochimaru. 

"Yes, Mr. Metal-Greymon!" said Sakura sarcastically as Kiba puts the flak jacket and helmet on Sakura.

"I thought you would have stopped this nonsense by now," said Orochimaru. "Because in 90 seconds, you and your boyfriend will be blown to pieces, and in 20 minutes, you'll be nothing but chalk outlines on the road, and in 30 minutes, I'll be back at the office archiving this whole sorry f-ing episode..."

"And in 40 minutes, blowing the Mayor's nine year corruption spree?" said Sakura. "Hey, what do I care? I'm nothing but a chalk outline."

"Any last words?" asked Kiba.

"Yes, Kiba," said Sakura. "DigiBalls."

Confused, Kiba took some tape and gagged Sakura.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sasuke and Neji were putting an old Chunin vest on Naruto. 

"In spite of everything that has happened today, Mr. Mayor," said Sasuke "You've still got my vote, and my family's vote."

Naruto glared at Sasuke. "Fuck you," replied Naruto.

Sasuke looks at the lens of a video camera, held by Shikamaru. "Did you get that?"

Shikamaru had a grin. "Yep."

* * *

The two sides were ready to switch hostages. 

"Goodbye, Uchiha." Naruto prepared to walk.

The hostage exchange was taking place. As Sakura got closer to Naruto, she noticed a letter and a number on Naruto's vest, **'T6'**. At that moment, Sakura got behind Naruto and took out a Kunai off the back of Naruto's vest and placed the kunai right under Naruto's neck.

"Oh, shit, no," cursed Orochimaru and Kiba was about to pull put a shuriken...

"You didn't think I would fall for your ambush, Orochimaru?" said Sasuke on the phone. "After all, I was an agent of the **ANBU** Zero. Tell Kiba not to move his arm. Neji is a much better shot than Shikamaru."

Orochimaru and Kiba saw Neji holding the rapid-fire crossbow...

"Alright, I surrender!" Kiba yelled out, dropping his weapon.

"Orochimaru, how many **ANBU**s are there in the van? 10?"

"12," answered Orochimaru.

"Tell the 12 **ANBU**s to drop their weapons."

"Drop them!" ordered Orochimaru and in the van, lot of kunais, shurikens and swords were dropped onto floor in the back of the van.

"And I'm pretty sure that there is a grenade launcher of some sort in there," said Sasuke.

Orochimaru sighed. "Kabuto!"

A loud metallic thud was heard.

"And could you go to the van's doors and lock it of you could." Orochimaru walked to the van and locked the doors. Sasuke looked behind at Shikamaru. "Mr. Shikamaru, did you do what I told you to do?"

Shikamaru finished his phone call on his cell phone. "Yep."

"What did he do?" asked Orochimaru.

"He called the proper authorities," said Sasuke.

* * *

Orochimaru, Naruto and Orochimaru's corrupt **ANBU**s were arrested by the authorities as officers were taking down statements. 

Sasuke walked to Sakura. "Sakura-chan, I think we could rate this as a _'we were totally wrong'_."

Sakura looked at Sasuke. "Sasuke-kun, Kiba **D9**."

Sasuke grinned. He walks to Kiba, who was being questioned by the detectives.

"Oh no!" screamed Kiba, bracing for a punch, only for Sasuke to slap Kiba in the face and then kicked him in the groin. "How about having some DigiBalls, Kiba?!" asked Sasuke, pointing at Sakura.

Kiba looked up and sees Sakura waving.

* * *

Sasuke, Sakura, Neji and Shikamaru were walking away from the beach as the authorities were leaving using helicopters, police cars and vans. After walking for a few steps, Neji stopped and said, "Hey, are we really walking all the way back to Konoha?" 

Sasuke looked back. "Come to think of it...it did take half an hour to get here by van."

"Oh yeah, I've got to return the van," said Shikamaru.

"Why weren't we on that helicopter?" asked Sakura.

"At least it was a job well done," said Neji.

The four walked back to the police scene as they laughed.


	10. Final Chapter and Omake Segments

**Stinking Shurikens**

By PikaFlash

Disclaimer: All characters, songs and scenes belong to their respective owners...

**_Final Chapter and Omake Segment(s)_**

**_A/N: _**Now that this fanfic is complete, I can now concentrate on _"My Schoolmate, The Shinobi"._

* * *

Sasuke and Neji walked out a taxi to a building, surrounded by the press. 

_Reporter 1: "A nine-year corruption plot was uncovered by former **ANBU** Zero Agents Uchiha and Hyuga."_

* * *

Naruto was walking out of court with his lawyers. 

_Reporter 2: "Files have been discovered on the corruption involving of Mayor Uzumaki and..."_

* * *

Jiraiya was walking out of court. 

_Reporter C: "Konoha Arcade CEO Jiraiya was arrested and charged with corruption..."_

* * *

_Reporter D: "The police have praised the efforts of reporter Sakura Haruno for..."_

* * *

Reporter 5:_"These recordings implicate that both the Mayor and the commander of **ANBU** Zero were involved in the corruption that..."_

* * *

_Reporter F: "Kiba Inuzuka was charged for the murder of Iruka..."_

Kiba was slapped, and then kicked in the groin by Sasuke.

* * *

Shikamaru was with his Media Agent, Ino. 

_Reporter 7: "The brave man who recorded this exclusive footage has received a 6-figure sum for his story..."_

From Shikamaru's footage, Sakura takes the Kunai off the back of Naruto's Vest and presses the blade near Naruto's neck.

* * *

Neji was sliding down the glass window on the set of **'Konoha's Most Wanted'**. 

_Reporter H:"The famous footage where former Agent Hyuga ended up in an accident on the set of..."_

* * *

_Reporter 9:"And the people of Konoha will long remember these words from their disgraced Mayor..."_

A video footage of Sasuke putting the old Chunin vest onto the former Mayor of Konoha…

"Fuck you," cursed Naruto on camera.

* * *

_Reporter 10: "Acting Mayor Konohamaru Sarutobi has shut down the **ANBU** Zero unit and sent its remaining staff will be integrated with..."_

Both Neji and Sasuke were in Sasuke's apartment, wearing tuxedos as Sasuke switched off the TV, each holding a glass of champagne.

"**_Gotta catch em all_**!" both said in unison as they tapped the glasses in victory.

"That was a job well done, Neji," said Sasuke.

"Same here." Then, Sasuke and Neji hugged for a bit, only to break it off when Neji's wife was standing behind the two.

"You want me to leave, Neji-kun?" asked Tenten.

"If you don't mind..." said Neji as he looked at the watch. "It's five past the hour, Sasuke."

Sasuke adjusted his tie. "How do I look?"

"_The Face of Seduction_," said Neji.

The trio laughed.

"Thanks, Neji."

"Shall we?" asked Tenten as she takes Neji with her to the apartment balcony.

It wasn't long when the doorbell rings.

"It's open," Sasuke called out as he picks up a remote and plays a song, _Fly Me to the Moon (I was listening to the ending theme to Neon Genesis Evangelion to get an idea)_...

_Fly me to the moon,  
__And let me play among the stars.  
__Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.  
__In other words, hold my hand!  
__In other words, darling, kiss me. _

Sakura enters the apartment as she sees Sasuke with a minibar as Sasuke removes the cover off a cocktail shaker. Then, Sasuke skillfully kicked up a couple of small bottles and poured the contents into the shaker. Then, Sasuke tossed a handful of ice into the shaker and added a cut lime before closing the shaker.

_Fill my heart with song,  
__And let me sing forever more.  
__You are all I long for, all I worship and adore.  
__In other words, please be true!  
__In other words, I love you! _

Both Neji and Tenten were impressed with the way Sasuke shakes the cocktail. Sasuke poured the cocktail into two glasses and added a cherry in each cocktail. Sasuke gives a glass to Sakura. Both sipped their cocktails before they tossed the glasses away and began to dance.

_Fly me to the moon,  
__And let me play among the stars.  
__Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.  
__In other words, hold my hand!  
__In other words, darling, kiss me. _

Sakura flips Sasuke over onto his couch. Sasuke smiled as Sakura pulled him up off the couch. Then, the two continued dancing to the balcony...

_Fill my heart with song,  
__And let me sing forever more.  
__You are all I long for, all I worship and adore.  
__In other words, please be true!  
__In other words, I love you! _

Neji and Tenten joined in as the four danced into the night...

**End **

**

* * *

**

Kakashi: _"Kakashi Hatake here. You might remember me as the suave and handsome Evidence Room guy in Chapter 4. I'd like to take this opportunity to bring you this fanfic's Omake Segment. In this segment, I will show you my special cameo appearance in my favorite fanfic series, the Naruto News Show."_

-----------------------

**Kakashi's Naruto News Show Cameo **

Zabuza the butcher was talking to his employee, Haku.

"Well...butchers can't be trusted, especially with large head cleaving swords."

At the same time, Kakashi happens to listen in on the butcher's conversation.

"Oh my god!" screamed Kakashi. "Butchers can't be trusted!"

* * *

**Naruto's Omake within the Omake Segment **

Naruto: _"Hi and welcome to the Omake within the Omake segment. I'm Naruto Uzumaki and I'd like to object Kakashi-sensei's claims that he is the only member of the supporting cast to get an Omake segment in this fanfic. Unlike Kakashi who decided to show off a cameo in some obscure comedy fanfic, my Omake Segment is home to a very special never-before-seen fanfic sketch. Enjoy..." _

Naruto pauses...

Naruto: _"Oh, and don't bother to expect any more Omakes after this..." _

Naruto pauses again.

Naruto: _"Actually, Shikamaru may have some, I think." _

-----------------------

**Manga Brainstorm! **

Shikamaru, Kiba, Sasuke, Ino, Neji, Sakura, Tenten and Shino were sitting at a round meeting table, scribbling notes and thinking. Then, Kiba spoke up.

"Ok, what about doing a new Manga series...I have no idea what will it be, but will have Ikue Otani doing the main character's voice once it becomes an Anime," Kiba suggested.

Everyone mumbled to each other for a bit as Shikamaru taps his pen.

"Ok, let's do a pilot."

* * *

**Orochimaru's Omake segment**

Orochimaru: _"I don't want an Omake Segment! Get rid of it!"_

* * *

**Shikamaru's Omake Segment**

Shikamaru: _"Hello. I'm Shikamaru. I did not expect anyone would have the trouble to put up this Omake Segment for me. It's too troublesome for me to put up something about myself in this segment, but I think I'll use another one of Naruto's never-before-seen fanfic Sketches to cover myself as I take a nap in this segment..." _

-----------------------

**Shikamaru's Nap **

Naruto was sitting at a desk. "Well, it can only happen in America. A Florida man was removed from his home yesterday using a crane. He weighed 600 pounds, and on his back and buttocks, doctors found one thousand, nine hundred and 32 bed sores. Rock Lee has more... but let's forget about him."

Naruto picks up a newssheet. "This next one requires me to imitate a news report - A large ship carrying 50, 000 pounds of aromatherapy oils got split into the sea and burst into flames today, causing widespread calm and a sense of well-being along the coast of Wave Country. Shikamaru Nara is now at the beach with the captain."

-----------------------

Shikamaru and Captain Kakashi were at the beach.

_Naruto: "But who cares about that now since the joke's over." _


End file.
